Nothing really prepares you… but here’s what I wish I’d known
People always say that life will change after motherhood, but there are so many things I wish I knew before becoming a mom. No one warns you that your coffee will go cold three times before you finish it, or that you’ll cry over spilled oatmeal…. And some days, your heart will feel heavy from tiredness and full of love — all before 10 in the morning.
Before I became a mom, I thought the hardest part would be the sleep deprivation. Spoiler: it wasn’t. The hardest part was not recognizing myself in my own day. Where did I go? Where were my creative mornings, quiet moments, spontaneous ideas?
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, it’s completely normal for new moms to feel overwhelmed — especially during the first year.
This isn’t a parenting guide or even solid advice. It’s just a little note to my past self — and maybe yours too.
1. You won’t feel like “you” for a while – and that’s okay
Nobody told me how much becoming a mom would change who I thought I was. It wasn’t a bad thing, just different.
I remember looking at my old sketchbook like it belonged to someone else entirely. The person who used to draw for hours now had to find time for a quick shower and a bite to eat, if possible.
But here’s the thing: you don’t just vanish. You change. You become more than you were before. It takes a bit, but you’ll slowly find yourself coming back to you—sometimes in cool, new ways.
2. Sleep deprivation is not just “being tired”
“Sleep while you can,” they said. Ha.
Having a baby and not getting enough sleep isn’t just about losing sleep. It’s like living in little snippets of time. It’s like dozing off for a moment and then getting yanked back awake. It’s when you try to text someone but can’t even remember your own name.
Your brain gets foggy. You get way less patient. And yeah, your creativity might take a vacation. That’s alright, though. You’re not useless or ruined. You’re getting used to a completely different life, and it makes sense to rest when you can—even if it’s just for five on the sofa.
3. Breastfeeding isn’t always “natural”
I thought breastfeeding would be like those calm, glowy Instagram moments. Nope.
Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it doesn’t work. Sometimes it feels like your entire existence is feeding someone while your coffee goes cold on the counter. And sometimes you’ll cry because it’s hard and no one told you that it could be.
Fed is best. Supported is best. You’re not failing if you need help or choose another way. Your baby needs you — not perfection.
4. You’ll cry over the weirdest things
I once cried because someone used the last clean coffee mug. It wasn’t really about the mug—I just needed something to go my way that day. Those emotional ups and downs? Totally real. Hormones, being tired, too much going on, and always having a million things to remember—it’s a lot to handle. You don’t need a huge reason to feel swamped. It’s totally fine to cry over bananas, shoes, or someone not folding towels the way you like. Just feel it, let it out, drink some water, and then keep going.
5. You need mom friends (even if they’re online)
The first time I saw a mom online say she was at the park wearing socks but no shoes, I cracked up – it felt so relatable. Sometimes all you need is someone who gets it. Even if you don’t have mom friends close by, find your crew online. Text them, follow them, share funny memes. You’re not going through this alone.
6. Asking for help is a strength, not weakness
I used to believe I had to handle everything myself – the baby, the cooking, the emails, the house – all while keeping a smile on my face. But honestly, nobody is meant to go through motherhood solo. The day I finally asked for someone to hold the baby so I could take a shower felt like a mini breakthrough. Asking for help doesn’t diminish you as a mom; it just makes you a normal person. And normal people need backup.
7. Your relationship will shift
Having a baby doesn’t just make you a parent; it changes your relationship, too. You’ll argue about dumb stuff. You’ll hand the baby off like it’s a game. You might even forget how to be romantic since you’re both just trying to stay afloat. But if you communicate, share a laugh, and cut each other some slack, you’ll grow into something different. Maybe less carefree, but stronger. More like a team. And that’s what counts.
8. Guilt becomes a daily visitor
You’re going to feel bad about screen time, your job, or not having a job, and for not loving every second, or even wanting some alone time. Mom guilt is real and sticks around. But remember, feeling guilty doesn’t mean you’re messing up. It just proves you care a lot. Don’t let that feeling boss you around. It’s okay to look after yourself. You can rest, complain, and have dreams. A happy mom means a happy and secure kid.
9. Every stage feels like forever (but flies by)
When you’re drowning in sleepless nights or dealing with constant tantrums, it feels like it’ll never end. You start to wonder if you’ll ever catch a break. But then, one day you notice—they can fall asleep on their own. They can put their shoes on by themselves. They tell you I love you, and it just hits you right in the feels. Seriously, take those photos. Write down those little things you want to remember. It really does go by fast, even if it doesn’t seem like it right now.
10. You’re doing better than you think
Hey to the mom who’s questioning herself: You’re doing great. Maybe you don’t feel like you’re on top of things, but you’re there, every day, with love. That’s what really counts. Your baby doesn’t need a perfect mom. They just need you – exactly as you are. Tired, a bit of a mess, feeling all the feels, but full of love.
💬 Final Thoughts
Okay, so those are the things I wish I knew before becoming a mom – I’m not trying to freak you out, just letting you know we’re all in the same boat! And hey, if no one’s said it today: You’re rocking this! Being a mom is no walk in the park. It’s gorgeous, hard, dull, and amazing—sometimes all at once. But you’ve got company. Did any of this hit home? Let me know in the comments! What’s one thing *you* wish you’d known before having kids?
Hey, if you ever need a little pick-me-up to remember you’re doing great – even when things are chaotic – I’ve made some free affirmations just for moms. Stick them on your mirror, pop one in your planner, or screenshot one for a tough day. You earned it! 💛 👉 [Download here]
You can also find it (and more goodies) on the Freebies page!
